Emotional Intelligence at Work
Emotional intelligence at work showed up. Whether you agree or disagree with the politics of the day doesn’t matter. The purpose of government is to make the world better, more just, more civil. Can we differ on how to make the world better, more just, and civil? Yes. But if we’re disagreeable about it, we’ve already veered off purpose. The means won’t bring the desired ends.
In addition, the overriding purpose of life is to make a lasting contribution to our family and society.
Injustice, immorality, denigration, sarcasm, nastiness, or hatred is not a contribution in anyone’s book.
All of humanity is degraded when immoral situations exist; all sides are wronged.
It’s an observable fact that we are growing more angry, more volatile and more divided with each day. I recently read that the confirmation process for political appointees takes double the time than it did under the Reagan Administration. In 1981 it took an average of 56.4 days for confirmation. In 2019 it takes 115 days to be confirmed. for Senate confirmations. That’s just for government. What else takes longer? how is private industry suffering? There certainly are more battles and conflict in the workplace and in public.
Social psychologists say we are polarized, angry, and emotionally reactive about it. We try to be heard or pacify our feelings from being at odds with “the other,” arguing for our opinion and position. Anyone can see this as an observable fact. We seem to be overly opinionated and immovable. You’re wrong. Shut up and get out of here. We don’t want to talk to anyone who differs from our rigid stance.
But there is hope. Evidence of emotional intelligence showed up when Nancy Pelosi was asked if she hated Trump. She answered with civility, poise, and composure. Pelosi demonstrated restraint—the very heart of emotional intelligence! The civility she expressed was Emotional Intelligence at Work. Again, it’s not about if you like or agree with her position. You cannot argue with the character, integrity, poise and composure she showed when asked, “do you hate Trump?”
Civility is Emotional Intelligence at Work
Watch the video and witness the separation of emotion from action. Pelosi reduced the power of her feelings in real-time. You can see self-management in action. Again, whether you agree with her religion or her use of prayer or her position is irrelevant. That’s a personal choice.
Separate whatever personal beliefs and feelings you may hold. Do the mature thing. Operate from your rational intellect not your emotional reactivity. Separate your rigid opinions from your rational self and watch civility prevail under intensity and duress.
You can’t argue with how Pelosi used herself to make a difference. She made the world a little better in that room, that moment.
Read between the lines. I hope it is evident that Pelosi showed her core of morality, the goodness that results from daily investment in, well, goodness. A voluntarily imposed habit intentionally cultivated to serve. The result is humanity is elevated to its rightful place, and its continual denigration is overridden.
Pelosi demonstrated emotional intelligence at work, the consummate professional. Working with and developing—fashioning improvement from what life presents us rather than reacting to it.
This is what the consummate emotionally intelligent leader does. And how does one get there? The model begins with first seeing ourselves. Look carefully and honestly in the mirror. Ask, “am I harboring resentment? Have I judged and condemned others based on an opinion, a party position, stereotype, ideal, or social construct?” Am I rigidly attached to my position, my opinion of what I think is right?” Be careful not to judge and condemn yourself!
When we see ourselves precisely as we are, it’s the beginning of change. Recognize that you may be the culprit at least sometimes. Understand that you are not an all-knowing perfect angel.
We are all fallible, capricious and untrustworthy at times. We miss things, overlook what’s really going on, wrongfully judge, accuse and look at those who disagree with us as the enemy. Admit we all do it!
It’s very difficult and takes appreciable time to see ourselves as we truly are. Oh yeah, it takes bearing difficulty and pain too. No one likes to see themselves as part of the problem. But when we do, change will flow naturally. Motivation is not necessary. Once you see how ugly we can all be change may be too small. Transformation is more likely. But again, this initial insight can be long, arduous, and difficult. It’s easier to spout off and blame others. That’s what we have now, the status quo, no progress there.
To transform your life, see yourself without illusion, judgment, or resistance, and then work to train your mind, guard your heart, and transform your passions…..Then, you move the world!
© Brian Braudis 2020, All rights reservedTags: Civility, Emotional Intelligence at Work, Self-Management in action
Categorized in: Emotional Intelligence