Emotional Intelligence Short Course
Below is an Emotional Intelligence Short Course specifically designed as a quick study, reference-type course. But let me be crystal clear. Developing the level emotional intelligence necessary to reduce problems at work, in your family, in your community, takes an enormous amount of effort. The pursuit of emotional intelligence is a noble, high-minded journey of transformation.
The shift from complainer to contributor, from cynic to optimist, victim to advocate; to consistently perform from the best within you, requires a prodigious effort toward not skill development but transformation………
Emotional Intelligence Short Course: The great ones achieved their greatness over time.
This short course is a tool designed to help you not treat problems with a Band Aid, but solve them through transformation. Success will come over time, from day-to-day implementation. Note that people are generally less than stellar in their 20s and 30s and become pillars of wisdom and goodness in their 40s and 50s. You can rely on the simple fact that BIG results come from daily minuscule efforts over time. So start now with small efforts.
This is a long post. If you would prefer a PDF, contact Brian
What is Emotional Intelligence (EI)
Emotional Intelligence is simply intelligent use of emotions. Looking a bit deeper, it is the capacity to identify, name and manage one’s own emotions and help others identify and manage their emotions.
Your Emotional Quotient (EQ) is the emotional equivalent to IQ your intellectual quotient. But the equivalence ends there.
*When calculated into a ratio of IQ, technical ability and EQ as the ingredients of superb individual performance, researchers found that having high EQ proved to be more than twice as important as the other two for jobs at all levels.
*Higher EQ within team & management circles means higher EQ throughout the organization. This Emotional Intelligence Short Course is designed to help!
Lay the groundwork, definitions
IQ-Intellectual Quotient, An assessment of human intelligence, mostly static throughout life.
EQ—Emotional Quotient, An assessment of the intelligent use of emotions; dynamic and changeable.
YQ—You Quotient. What you as an individual bring to any encounter. How you make the difference is wide open with potential.
A quotient is a proportion, an amount, a share. See the Quotient Pie Graphic
Research (and experience) has found that EQ the tool and you (YQ) together amount to 80% of what it means to be effective. Don’t just believe the research when you read it…. Ask yourself, what is my experience?
What is more apt to halt progress, reduce productivity or derail an important project, weak technical skills or impulsive and explosive behavior?……. Ahhhh, yes, there’s the self observation research I need to recognize!
The Emotional Quotient (EQ + YQ) proved to be more than twice as important as the other two (IQ and technical ability) for jobs at all levels. It doesn’t matter if you’re a supervisor. The difference comes through your efforts.
EQ is a tool, a competency. You (YQ) make the competency an antidote. Developing and using your high-level EQ, you don’t treat problems—like a Band-Aid…No! You eliminate problems!
You make the difference because you are the instrument!
The four “building blocks” and competencies of Emotional Intelligence
- Self-Awareness—the ability to recognize, understand and interpret your emotions, moods, what drives you—and their effect on you and others….
Hallmarks are self-confidence, realistic self-assessment, self-deprecating sense of humor.
- Self-Management—the ability to rationally redirect impulses, moods and reactions that are unproductive, to avoid classic pitfalls such as judging, labeling and blaming……
Hallmarks are Integrity, trustworthiness, openness especially to change and comfortable with ambiguity.
- Social-Awareness—Understanding human desires and motivations; empathy, and insight into the human condition.
- Relationship Management—conflict management, teamwork, influence and finesse, coaching, mentoring and inspiring.
Each of these building blocks represents abilities that together give rise to your EQ. You application of this Emotional Intelligence Short Course will serve to elevate your skill.
Look a little closer as you review these building blocks and you’ll get a sense of the “building hierarchy.” In other words, if you have high self-awareness, self-management is built from that bedrock skill. And the others like empathy and social skill come from the foundation of your high self-awareness and your self-management skills.
*EQ can be learned but success requires a different approach than what is typically used to “train” for technical or analytical skills.
How to Learn Emotional Intelligence?
The limbic brain is where EQ is learned and it’s a more complex, different learning. You become Emotionally Intelligent through the brain’s limbic system where chemicals known as neurotransmitters are released in response to emotional sensory….. input. And to learn and develop the best, most appropriate output—you train your limbic system through extensive practice…
Now this is a very important, critical distinction…Rather than the typical scenario of using your brain to learn something…through practice and persistence, over time you re-engineer, retrain your limbic brain how to respond more intelligently.
You develop the endowed power to temper your emotions and take back your ability to control your responses. We must not overlook or diminish the significance of this opportunity. The complexity of limbic brain processes is one reason why we dominate the earth…The limbic brain, you could call it the emotional brain is what allows you to love your family and work in groups, collaborate, work and contribute toward something larger than yourself…
Now, if you’re paying attention, you’ll note that the parts of our brain all intricately work together. But careful research has teased out the fact that most of the time, our emotions are in the lead. Emotion is stronger than thought. We rule the earth because we are emotional beings. Emotions are overwhelmingly powerful…and you are full of them!
So being emotionally intelligent is fundamental for a good life and a good career
Your brain is always busy. Have you ever been overwhelmed or over stimulated by constant chatter? Recognized the chatter of constant thought racing and you’ll notice they are the same thoughts repeated over and over again…………
Call to action: Become the observer more than the actor. Watch your thoughts don’t act on them….become mindful.
Thoughts –> lead to emotions–> then to action.
Change the tape that is playing in your head!
Don’t listen to yourself, talk to yourself. I recommend using time during the day to sit with yourself, pause, reflect and contemplate. Ask….how did I handle that conversation….what could I do better? How could I better prepare myself for next time…what are the takeaways from that interaction?
Use my 10-Minute Leadership Habit tool and spend time investing in yourself. Remember….
Transformation Requires Daily Investment Not the Occasional View
Daily investment. Read something. Each day create a space to pause and contemplate. Do something every day to advance your thinking, to see reality more clearly, to open yourself up to new ideas, new thinking…progress each day.
As you become older and wiser life should be getting easier, more peaceful and enjoyable. Peace flows into what you do from the depths within you. If this is not the case take note…note to self, create some improvement. That’s your only assessment criteria. Am I feeling less anxious, more peaceful?
It is impossible to transform your life and progress continually upward if you harbor negativity such as anger, resentment and even rage for the world—your fellow humans. There are articles on my blog that speak in-depth about this topic.
The two most popular are:
In addition to this Emotional Intelligence Short Course, tools on my site give you the raw materials to use yourself to transform your life. This is possible! In fact, I believe it is our obligation and our responsibility to make life a little better each day.
This is the very meaning of life! If your life feels flat, uninteresting, lacking in creativity, hopeless and meaningless, congratulations! You have just discovered your life’s purpose! Don’t waste another minute! Create a life of worthwhileness. That’s meaning with a capital “M.”
Random Notes on Improving Self-Awareness
For increased self-awareness get in the habit of asking yourself is this a conditioned reaction or a mindful rational response?
Look internally. Are you becoming agitated or elevated? Is your heart rate increasing, are you raising your voice? Are some stimuli driving an unconscious reaction? Sometimes we become so convinced of something can’t see, hear, smell, or feel anything else. Anger clouds judgement and blocks rational thinking. Think, road rage.
Here’s an example. Let’s say one of your team members didn’t get the report you wanted done in time…He explained that the boiler broke down and he had an emergency repair to oversee. But you disregarded that because you’re thinking he’s inept, incapable and lazy… Now, you have jumped into appraisal mode unconsciously…and you missed the sense data…raised eyebrows, the elevated tone of voice and hand gestures from your team member that indicate he’s truthful…or at least deserves extra attention and consideration… Try to distinguish what is an appraisal and what you’re sensing… the elevated voice, raised eyebrows, and hand gestures…. At least be open to read the situation more accurately and compassionately.
Recognize what you are feeling. Your feelings are emotional responses to the interpretations you are making based on the expectations you have. Feelings alert you to your comfort level and they help you understand your reactions. Knowing what you are feeling and why will help you learn why you take the actions you do. As the saying goes, name it and you can tame it!
Use my 10-Minute Leadership Habit Tool to pause and reflect.. time to reflect and determine how and where you can insert a pause in your daily effort to collect yourself…Use that space to recognize the totality of the situation and the total person in front of you. Read the atmosphere and the nuances of the situation and try to respond rather than react!
A big part of this EQ development involves refocusing to break old ineffective behavioral habits and establishing new more effective ones. Begin developing the habit of noticing…..monitor your thoughts, your feelings, what may be triggering your behavior and then practice managing your reactions and developing better habits of behavior….Repeating those observations as a habit and reinforce them by noticing others who show highly developed EQ……..
This Emotional Intelligence Short Course, along with practice and persistence is a highly effective approach that can lead to dramatic, long-lasting improvement. Note this is a slow process, but the results are guaranteed to occur. Get the means right and the ends come of their own accord……..
Now people, your team members may not come around right away…. They may take a while to respond. Some may not respond at all. What’s important here is your commitment! Your commitment to be the change we all want to see is most important.
There are exercises, apps, and extensive resources on the web for your use. I can tell you from direct experience; books will help affirm your feelings and give you solace in this journey. But you don’t need apps or anything else. All you need is an open mind, a spirit of adventure, a willingness to learn and grow, and you. You are the instrument!
Practice being where you are — being Present means you don’t give all of your attention to the meeting, the boss’s office visit, the conflicted team member, or the annoyed customer. Keep a portion of attention inside, within you. Always know where you are. Make every effort to stay centered while serving others. This will make an enormous difference. Experiencing (feeling) this difference, you will know you are making progress.
Listen with renewed attention. Stop your mind activity and listen. See the human in front of you. You will hear more than words. Sense the anger, resentment, frustration, or conflicting energies underneath the words. Or feel the joy, the lightness, the flow of life. Deeply listening will point you directly to the appropriate response.
Live mindfully. Walking, eating, waiting in line, recall your attention back inside. Notice your thoughts; feel your mood. Feel yourself in nature, in the world. Notice the trees, the sky, the birds. Notice the serenity of life. All of life is active, and yet there is a quality of stillness and tranquility. Notice!
Pause. We are not as good at calming down as we are at getting ramped up. Pause and rediscover the stillness within you. Feel the depth of your essence, the life energy that is beyond this world, beyond the org chart, beyond finances, beyond titles.
Be mindful of how disregarding we can be of those we don’t understand, the ones who don’t live in our tree. Consider what disregard for others does to our heart. Disregard is a contraction, a binding where openness is like a relaxing exhale. The benefits to our being open are enormous.
Create and fall into the kind of rut you want to stay in! Use this Emotional Intelligence Short Course to live into the self-improvement rut!
I provide enough material, inspiration and motivation with this Emotional Intelligence Short Course.
For more support of your daily progress upward, I encourage you to read my weekly newsletter, listen to my Podcast and read my articles. Or follow someone, anyone you like. It doesn’t have to be me….so long as you have found your magic carpet and you’re riding it daily.
Here’s the formula—Apply what you learn and experience, daily investment; repeat it often and reinforce what you’ve learned and experienced every day through books, conversations with coaches and peers.
If you let me know when you provide a review, I’ll send you a thank you gift like a free PDF of my book, or a CD.
At bottom, emotional intelligence is the ability to act with intelligence in spite of what you are feeling.
But please know there is no emotional intelligence without mindfulness……….
Thank you for your attention, feedback and for staying in touch.
I wish you more than luck!
© Brian Braudis 2020, All rights reservedTags: Emotional Intelligence Short Course, Journey, Mindfulness, Skill Development, Transformation
Categorized in: Emotional Intelligence