When a coach, I was working with condensed and described my version of ‘improvement’ as mindfulness, a fog lifted. So I began to refine my language in that direction.
Message has been a personal challenge for me. This recent clarity helped me distill my messages to the most straightforward words that are easiest to grasp.
But I learned that not everyone kept up or has caught on during a Zoom call last week. One person asked, is it mindfulness, or is it emotional intelligence?
I appreciated the question (feedback) because I don’t want to create confusion. Learning something new is hard enough. When you add confusing language or complicated techniques it can be easier to quit than continue.
When starting a meditation practice, it’s hard enough to set aside just 10 minutes every day to practice. When you add terms like Dharma, Atman, and Bhakti to sitting still and trying to communicate inward, you wonder what it means? Why am I doing this?
Exercise is the same thing. Trainers lose clients with their rigidity. It’s hard enough to build a workout habit, let alone disciplining yourself to breathe and use equipment properly.
Most people don’t like running, and the unbending zealots don’t make it fun or inviting.
So I make every effort to simplify and make it easy, relaxing, and enjoyable to grow your psyche.
Learning mindfulness will make you emotionally intelligent.
The simplest definition of mindfulness is noticing things. If you notice things, you are mindful. If you are not noticing, you are not mindful. Noticing is simply the heart of mindfulness.
If you are noticing, you can’t help but be emotionally intelligent.
If you are not noticing, you are probably somewhere else, which is often the case for humans.
When you are mindful however, you’re noticing emotions, yours, and others. This can be subtle.
You are internally still enough to notice the ‘below the surface’ or underlying energy of conflict, happiness, joy….. You notice humanness. And this noticing is mindful. You don’t react. You respond.
For example, if your coworker is prickly, you’ll see that there’s nothing in circumstances that can cause irritability. Your colleague is agitated from the inside. Observe closely, and you won’t see anyone else agitated.
Being deliberately mindful you have engaged your higher (human) intelligence, your prefrontal cortex.
You have bypassed the reactive (primitive limbic emotional brain). Mindfulness brought about emotional intelligence.
The bottom line is we use mindfulness for emotional intelligence.