Civility is Emotional Intelligence at Work. Whether you agree or disagree with the politics of the day doesn’t matter. The purpose of government is to make the world better, more just, more civil. Can we differ on how to make the world better, more just, and civil? Yes, but if we’re disagreeable about it, we’ve already veered off purpose. The means won’t bring the desired ends.
The overriding purpose of life is to make a lasting contribution to our family and society. Injustice, denigration, sarcasm, nastiness, or hatred is not a contribution in anyone’s book.
When immoral situations exist, all sides are wronged. All of humanity is degraded.
Civility is Emotional Intelligence at Work
Social psychologists say we are polarized, angry, and emotionally reactive about it. We try to be heard or pacify our feelings from being at odds with “the other” through vehement hatred. Anyone can see this as an observable fact. Typically we are not emotionally intelligent!
But there is hope. Evidence of civilization showed up this past week when Nancy Pelosi was asked if she hated Trump. She answered with civility, poise, and composure. Pelosi demonstrated restraint—the very heart of emotional intelligence!
Watch the video and witness the separation of emotion from action. Pelosi reduced the power of her feelings in real-time. You can see self-management in action. Again, whether you agree with her religion or the use of prayer is irrelevant.
You can’t argue with how Pelosi used herself to make a difference, to be the difference we all want to see. She made the world a better place in that room, that moment.
Read between the lines. I hope it is evident that Pelosi showed her core of morality, the goodness that results from daily investment. A voluntarily imposed habit intentionally cultivated to serve. The result is humanity is elevated to its rightful place, and its continual denigration is overridden.
Pelosi demonstrated the consummate professional. Working with and developing—fashioning improvement from what life presents us rather than reacting to it.
This is what the consummate emotionally intelligent leader looks like. They know inherently, Civility is Emotional Intelligence at Work.
And how does one get there? The model begins with first seeing ourselves. Look carefully and honestly in the mirror. Ask, “am I harboring resentment? Have I judged and condemned others based on an opinion, a party position, stereotype, ideal, or social construct?” Be careful not to judge and condemn yourself.
When we see ourselves precisely as we are, changes will flow naturally. Motivation is not necessary. But this initial insight can be long, arduous, and difficult. It’s easier to spout off and blame others. That’s what we have now, the status quo, no progress there.
To transform your life, see yourself without illusion, judgment, or resistance, and then work to train your mind, guard your heart, and transform your passions…..Then, you move the world!