After six months of directives to “stay home, do your part and we’re all in this together,” we see no definitive end in sight.
So with the goal of maintaining and advancing our well-being let’s talk about Self-coaching.
The general idea with coaching is to build up one’s core — your source of repose and strength.
We could call it your well-being anchor.
During a virtual conference, peers (coaches, consultants and therapists) reported that the clients who have maintained regular sessions are doing better with the COVID-19 situation.
My experience is the same. It’s the daily investment, small steps approach that prepares one for crushing any obstacle and progressing past any setback.
Here are three brief Self-coaching lessons you can start right now.
1. Life’s difficulties are subjective. With a weak, ill-defined core, circumstances easily blow you off course. Researchers believe circumstances don’t matter very much and shouldn’t affect us so readily.
Self-coaching lesson: look back over your life. The bad breakups that you thought would keep you permanently in decline or the promotion that would forever make you happy did the circumstance last very long?
Are setbacks permanent?
Humans are intuitively adaptive and resilient; getting used to new circumstances is a constant ‘background activity.’ We adapt to new situations instinctively and rapidly. You can see why money doesn’t buy happiness. We get used to what it does buy quickly and then go back to our set point.
Soon enough, COVID-19 will be in the rearview mirror.
2. Meaning, don’t let others tell you how to interpret a disappointment, what a setback is, or why you didn’t get the promotion.
Self-coaching lesson: Make your own meaning. Redefine your job, coworkers, why you didn’t get a return call, get creative, and resourceful.
Use cognitive restructuring to reframe the way you think about everything that life brings. This is the heart of coaching.
The hidden forces that shape us in the moment are mood and perspective. And in the long-term, how we view the world, interpret events, and attach meaning to what happens determines the action we take.
Move your body, change your mood. The mind is a secondary organ designed to serve not lead…..
Sow a thought, and you reap an action; sow an act, and you reap a habit; sow a habit, and you reap a character; sow a character, and you reap a destiny–Emerson
3. Pause and ponder. We are more adept at getting hyped up than we are at calming down. But we know the value of stillness.
Self-coaching lesson: Put yourself in a meditative state. Rather than plowing onward, feel the difficult emotions. Name what you are experiencing, talk to someone about it or write about what you feel.
Don’t rationalize or solutionize, feel and express what you feel. This is a setup for transforming out of where you are as the process unfolds.
You’ll find your deeper Self and better grasp life’s more profound questions as you move away from a narrow focus on yourself.
With any kind of stillness practice, you can heighten your sensitivity to mind and body activity that may be pushing you where your heart doesn’t want to go.
Integrate these three methods with who you already are and build up your well-being core.
Coach yourself and save yourself.
When you save yourself, you save the world. The influence of a vital person vitalizes. –Joseph Campbell
Related: Here’s more insight. Meaning, Happiness, Fulfillment and Grit tests/surveys.