Before you judge incompetence or cluelessness, before you write someone off, PAUSE and ask…
Not what’s wrong with you but rather, what happened to you?
Life is a series of challenges that are ever increasing in both number and complexity. It’s hard to grow fast enough to keep pace, especially if your soul is bruised. On some level, everyone experiences the battering of day-to-day disappointments, frustrations, rejections, insults and offenses. Still others endure the fallout from a traumatic past that could last a lifetime. In a sense, we all need a place reserved on the road to recovery.
As frustrating and maddening as the day-to-day can be, it doesn’t compare to the fallout from a traumatic past… There are the not so distant pains like #Me Too, bullying, harassment, inequality, bias and unfair treatment. But perhaps the deepest cut and longest lasting fallout comes from trauma experienced as a child. All of humanity suffers as a result.
In spite of our difficult days and our problematic past, it is always possible to be someone who makes a difference. What other options do we have? Do you want to suffer for a lifetime and spread the same dysfunction, misery, pain and suffering you endured to others, your loved ones? No, of course not. No one wants to extend suffering.
The difference that is hidden in plain sight, always possible but no so readily talked about is how you navigate the beauty and struggle of everyday life—not perfection but perfectly happy with the imperfection.
The overriding purpose of life is to make a lasting contribution to family, society and all of humanity. You cannot fulfill that purpose by allowing your past to influence your future. No matter what happened, we must get past our past. The future is too important not to.
Before you cast blame to either side pause and ask, not, what is wrong with you—but rather, what happened to you?
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